Childhood Emotional Neglect

Understanding Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)

Childhood Emotional Neglect refers to a pattern where a child’s emotional needs are consistently overlooked or dismissed by caregivers. Unlike more visible forms of abuse, CEN is often subtle and unintentional, yet its effects can be profound and long-lasting. Many individuals only begin to recognise its impact later in life, when emotional struggles surface in relationships, self-worth, or daily functioning.

Common Signs in Adulthood

Adults who experienced emotional neglect in childhood may notice recurring patterns such as:

Persistent fear of rejection or abandonment
A deep sense of emptiness or emotional numbness
Difficulty showing self-compassion
Feeling inadequate or “not good enough”
Heightened emotional sensitivity
Constant need for reassurance
Discomfort with intimacy or vulnerability
Avoidance of conflict
Challenges in forming or sustaining relationships
Fear of being emotionally visible
Poor boundary-setting

These signs often reflect internalised beliefs formed during early development, where emotional needs were unmet or invalidated.

How CEN Affects Adult Life

Growing up without consistent emotional support can shape how we relate to ourselves and others. Adults may struggle with low self-esteem, emotional detachment, or difficulty identifying and expressing feelings. This detachment can serve as a protective mechanism, shielding individuals from pain—but it also limits emotional connection and self-understanding. Over time, this can lead to isolation, relationship difficulties, and a sense of disconnection from one’s own emotional world.

What Causes Emotional Neglect?

Emotional neglect typically stems from caregivers who are emotionally unavailable, overwhelmed, or ill-equipped to respond to a child’s emotional needs. Contributing factors may include:

Parental stress, mental health challenges, or substance use
Lack of emotional awareness or communication skills
Cultural or generational beliefs that discourage emotional expression
Unintentional avoidance of emotional engagement

Importantly, emotional neglect is often defined not by harmful actions, but by the absence of nurturing responses—such as validation, empathy, and emotional presence.

Healing Through Therapy

Recognising the effects of CEN is a powerful first step toward healing. Therapeutic approaches like psychodynamic therapy, trauma-informed care, and somatic practices can help individuals reconnect with their emotions, build self-worth, and develop healthier relationships. Therapy offers a safe space to explore past experiences, process unresolved feelings, and learn new ways of relating to oneself and others.

Our Practitioners:

“We tend to find therapy when the absence of what was needed in our childhood begins to affect our mental health. The work between myself and a client is based in attachment and it is by exploring our relationship with attachment that we can begin to understand ourselves better. This is not about blame – you are not responsible for your wounds but your healing is your responsibility. What this requires is acknowledging the parts of our past which are so significant they are connected to us in our present in potentially unhelpful ways. In a nurturing space, working in the here and now, the client is able to learn about their own emotions and work towards living their life in a meaningful and contented way. Working with a therapist in an emotionally responsive environment allows the client to discover new ways of being in the world, with themselves and with others.” Anoushka Beazley, Transactional Analysis Psychotherapist and Counsellor>

“It is of huge significance that we receive loving emotional care during our formative years. If this early part of our life experience is neglected by the caregiver, then there is the likelihood that our self-worth will be negatively affected and mental health issues will start to develop over time. Examples of childhood emotional neglect may include a lack of affection or encouragement, having your feelings dismissed, not being validated or having a caregiver who lacks emotional availability. These unmet needs in children can manifest themselves in extreme behaviours which tend to affect physical and mental development as well as the ability to appropriately connect with others and oneself. As an adult, if these issues continue to be suppressed, they will develop into such symptoms as trust issues, fears of rejection, depression, difficulty maintaining relationships and general low self-esteem. These are significant blocks to your wellbeing and potential and we may often not be aware of quite why we feel the way we do. My aim is to help you bring more awareness towards these feelings and why they occur. This mental groundwork prepares the way towards positive changes and together we will work towards making the adjustments that best suit the type of individual that you are.” Dylan Peters, Psychotherapeutic Counsellor >

“It is usually during our earliest years that we form that essential understanding of who we are and what we mean to those around us. A secure sense of self and basic understanding that we are welcome in the world depends on the care we receive, not only from parents or guardians but also peers, teachers and other authorities as we grow towards become valued members of society. Neglect occurs when the basic needs of being seen, held, heard, nurtured and/or played with are not met. Neglect can also mean a failure on behalf of those in authority to feed, clean, clothe or attend to the other fundamentals that allow us to present in the world ready to learn and grow with vigour and joy.

If you are living as an adult who carries an experience of childhood neglect, whatever its shape, I can help. Psychodrama psychotherapy supports you at your own pace to understand the impact of neglect on how you view your needs and their importance, gently understanding how you learned to get your needs met. We will look at how the past impacts your behaviours in the present, and the beliefs that define who you are and the relationships you form. I will come alongside you to uncover the beliefs about yourself, others and the world that may no longer be serving you and help you find ways to uncover different, more rewarding responses. Above all, I will offer you undivided attention during our sessions with the freedom to talk, to be silent, to play and to create in an atmosphere of warmth and security.” Alexa Edelist, Psychotherapist and Couple Counsellor >